The Differentiated Diet: A Modest Proposal

A_Modest_Proposal_1729_CoverCurrently there is a tyrannical imposition of the same rules of eating and exercise upon everyone. But with modern science, we can measure the growth and development of the young with much greater accuracy. Based on these measurements, we can make reliable forecasts of their likely size and strength once they reach maturity, and begin to establish a much more rational system of nutrition and exercise, differentiated according to individual needs.

Evidently, humans differ in their physical capacities. Some have the potential to be athletes or professional footballers, while others will never be physically capable of anything more than desk work. Despite these obvious differences, which can be detected at an ever earlier age thanks to modern science, there has never yet been established a rational programme of differentiated nutrition and exercise. It’s time for the physical development of the young to be dragged into the twenty-first century.

The first step is ensure that parents do not foolishly insist upon exercising their inexpert judgements as to what should be fed to their children. A sentimental programme of encouraging breastfeeding has regrettably been gaining force in recent years. This represents a retreat from the approach promoted in the sixties, that high watermark of rationalist intervention. We must return to the vigorous promotion of measurable nutrition, administered by experts. We cannot leave the feeding of our tenderest citizens to the fumbling errors of those without professional training.

Thus, from the earliest years, we can provide a programme of physical development that is measurable, and designed by experts exactly to suit the potential of each individual. Those who have been identified as future athletes will receive additional proteins and a vigorous routine of physical exercise to build their capabilities further, but we will not burden the bodies of weaker individuals with such a programme. Indeed, it would be cruel to do so. Why should we push them through such exertions, when their abilities are clearly unsuited to it?

As for the weakest individuals of all, those identified as having ‘special needs’, we will arrange for fully qualified state employees to do all their physical work for them. It would be the cruellest thing of all to expect these feeble children to do anything for themselves.

Thus, using the latest scientific methods and the efforts of the most highly qualified experts, we can ensure a rational distribution of nutritional resources, and a personalised programme of physical exercise, overcoming the current waste and amateurism which tragically prevails in the physical development of the young.

(We would like to thank our many sponsors in the processed food industry for their generous funding of the research which underpins this important campaign to develop rational programmes of physical development for the young. We have also consulted senior officials in the Department for Social, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing, and we believe our proposals are in line with DSPEW guidance).

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7 thoughts on “The Differentiated Diet: A Modest Proposal

  1. Very Swiftian of you! As I was reading all I could think was, “I hope this is satirical.” Then I went back and saw the accompanying image, and I re-read. Nicely done, great points. In particular, I appreciated this line:

    Why should we push them through such exertions, when their abilities are clearly unsuited to it?

    I think of the joy of exercise, the joy of creating, the joy of grasping a difficult concept — we rob children of these experiences if we never push them and if we buy into the idea of one’s success being based purely on natural ability. If we don’t believe that people can learn, why teach?

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  2. “Evidently, humans differ in their physical capacities. Some have the potential to be athletes or professional footballers, while others will never be physically capable of anything more than desk work. Despite these obvious differences, which can be detected at an ever earlier age thanks to modern science….”

    Anthony, have you read Huxley’s novel ‘Island’?

    In it he explores a society that, among many other things, actively identifies and streams young people into an established “rational programme of differentiated nutrition (I don’t remember if nutrition was emphasised so much) and exercise”.

    I think it offers more optimistic food for thought than ‘Brave New World’.

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      • I didn’t notice! It was a plausible point of view until I read more of your blog.

        On the contrary, children are given additional parents to guarantee against injustice and the worst consequences of parental ineptitude. From Wiki: “so that children would not have unalloyed exposure to their parents’ neuroses”

        Reason I ask is that I recall he talked about some 2 types of personality – the ‘Peter Pan’ types (Hitler) or the ‘Muscle Man’ types (Stalin) that can be spotted early and dealt with. Reading your post reminded me of this.

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